7.25.11
On the physical level there are a couple of main 'ills' I'd like to see purified by my new diet and lifestyle. I've heard that the body cannot heal selectively. Meaning, when the body heals, everything in the body heals. The thought of that makes me happy. I'd like my allergies to go away, and I'd like my (seasonal, environmental) asthma to go away. I understand that ALL ills are a result first and foremost of emotional imbalance so I hope to be able to go within without distractions (of food in my case) and allow myself to release any emotions that do not serve my highest health. I want to not only release them, but learn from them as well.
I can imagine myself in perfect health with unlimited vitality. My life in this image feels great. I have strong, clear lungs and an active body that allows me to walk, run, climb, skate, and swim for miles. Until I get there in the physical I will practice being there in my mind.
Today is the 3rd day of my new diet. Although I still experience allergies and trouble breathing, I have faith that my body is regenerating and it won't be much longer until I begin to feel even more healthy than I do now. I feel more energetic and clear headed so I am hoping to use the new energy and clarity for self- healing.
I don't want to distract myself anymore by taking medicine that only treat and quiet my symptoms. I realize that puffing on my inhaler is a distraction from me going within to release emotionally the root cause of my breathing troubles. I've been spending two days trying to release without knowing how. Today, right now, I am relying on my sincerity to want to release it, determination not to ignore it, and gentleness to accept it, so whatever it is I can release it and open my heart completely and without fear.
7.25.11 (not too much later)
Letting go of the Fat Girl Mentality.
Ah clarity alas! I've realized that my asthma began at a young age and was born out of insecurity. I don't really remember too much what my dad was like growing up. I do remember when I was very young he was caring, and gentle. He would play outside with me and play cards with me. Then around the time that my mom began to use drugs, and I began to lie for her, defending her, he disappeared. I rarely saw or talked to him, I was doing bad in school because I was a rebel that never wanted to "conform" to rules. My nana, someone who helped raise me, was sick and eventually passed away, and I was trying to discover myself.
I packed on lots and lots of pounds in the world of insecurity and fear of the unknown around me. More pounds = more insecurity. Not only that but I realized that I was protecting myself from becoming exploited as a sex object. I didn't consciously know back then that to be respected by others, one must first respect themselves. I remained over weight and quite often the best friend of the "big man on campus" type guy who all my friends usually dated. I guess I figured subconsciously that if I wasn't attractive "sexually" I wouldn't be treated like a woman (and be mistreated!)
I also felt physically protected by the extra weight. I felt bigger and stronger than most of the guys that surrounded me back then, so I felt confident that I could knock a guy down if I ever needed to. Turns out that through-out the years, my love and respect of self has been growing from within myself (subconsciously and has been more powerful than the fear of being mistreated as a woman) and I've been surrounded by males that respect me. Even then, I kept extra weight on as a protection from being exploited as a sex object and not honored as a woman.
Since I've changed my diet and mind, I've reached a new level of clarity, self love, and respect enough to finally willingly let go of the fat girl mentality that protected me for so long. I know that I no longer need to be protected because it is my self love, respect, and integrity within, that have always attracted my outer experiences, and will continue to be what attracts my outer experiences.
7.26.11
Last night I hit a breaking point with my asthma. Maybe it was the emotional release I needed with my new level of understanding, or at least part of the process. I'm just tired of not being able to breathe, I've been doing everything I can to heal myself and be as patient as possible with my body. I'm just tired, and my body wants to be well. Before I moved to Portland, I hadn't taken any breathing medication in months and months. Yeah I'm residing with a cat (a long time allergy and asthma trigger,) but I've been working diligently to boost my immune system. On the 4th day of my new living foods diet, I did a 24 hour water fast. I know I have food and prescription drugs toxins to clear in my body.
Today is the 6th day of my new diet. I feel pretty low today emotionally on a surface level, but under the surface emotions lives optimism, hope, and love.
7.29.11
7th day on a new track in life. Whole foods, and a wholesome lifestyle. I feel A LOT better than yesterday. I feel I have emotionally released a lot of old emotions (by crying about them.) It might seem old to cry about something that deeply upset you months or years ago, but I'd rather cry about it, learn from it, and let it go than just push it into the deepest darkest parts of my being where it can still harm me physically and emotionally.
Not only do I feel better because of my emotional let go, but I remembered that one who is detoxing anything commonly runs into hardship the 3rd and 4th day and or 6th or 7th day. That could be why I was feeling so crappy yesterday, but I made it through, and it turns out that I was able to use my asthma medication A LOT less and my body was more responsive to alternative approaches such as accu-pressure points.
7.30.11
I am so happy and grateful that last night I didn't have to use my inhaler in the middle of the night or this morning when I woke up for the first time since I've been here in Portland. I don't feel itchy or wheezy at all, I feel completely healthy! I've also realized that I can observe more clearly and quickly than ever if I am operating out of ego. Even though I attain and intend to be ego-less %100 of the time, I am still human and it is part of my discipline at this time to be aware of my states of being and use my freedom to change it if it isn't in alignment with my true essence. I am grateful for the freedom to choose what state of being that I want to be in at any and every moment.
One of the issues that I ran into when I first began to awaken years ago was what society calls "bi-polar" Hot one minute, cold the next. Sad one minute, happy the next. I've been aware of my personal power to observe and change our own moods for some time, but years ago I would notice myself upset and NOT use my power to change my state of being too quickly out of fear of being bi-polar. Today in my new awareness, and gratitude for the freedom to be in any mood, have any reaction, and behave any way that I want, I will label myself empowered, and cash in my birth right to experience peace.
7.31.11
It is my 9th or 10th day (I lost track) of my new wholesome diet and life, and I haven't had to use my inhaler at all. My body has been responding very well to alternative approaches, and my over all feeling of health and attitude is very good. I look forward to attracting a juicer, and more delicious raw foods to try new recipes, and expand my living raw food horizons. <3
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Journey of Wholeness
I know my blog title says "Journey Into The Raw," but it should say journey to wholeness because going raw is connected with many parts of the evolving human being. I first had to make the decision to go raw and I had to change my mindset before I even began to eat raw and I started walking barefoot for wholeness before I even made the choice to go raw. It's been a process....
Since changing my mindset and my diet, I've been able to listen to my body and actually understand it's messages more clearly than ever and even though it's only been two days I can see that a wholesome living diet is only part of the journey of wholeness. None the less it's an extremely important part of wholeness and I love food, so blogging about my raw journey should be a pleasure.
I guess one of the reasons why I do anything public and evolutionary is to show others that it is possible. We all experience the same battles at one point or another (and collectively) but triumph is inevitable with love.
I am going to start by posting a couple of my journal entries from the this month. As a documentation of my process into raw foods and wholeness. I will be posting once a week from here on out.
July 10th
Love. Thank you for bringing me to higher states of being. I'm begining to love myself on a whole new level. When I am able to look at my body as a temple I begin to love it a lot more because of the realization that it contains God. Words that have been said by many, in many ways, but it's true that to actually understand the concept that our bodies are temples that hold Spirit, one must experience the realization for themselves at their own time.
Self control. Discipline. Or GOLD?
Gratitude, Obideience, loyalty, devotion. Everything in life is easier to me when it's GOLD. Will attracting and eating raw foods be about discipline or GOLD to me? It's so much easier when I know that I am doing it for Source. I love my creator just as much as my creator loves me. Unconditionally, and unending. There fore I must love myself in that way as well.
7.22.11
I want to go raw. In my highest desire 100% raw but it seems psychotic in the society we live in today. Inside, I feel it's the right thing to do for myself. It just makes sense to eat living foods and a part of me even feels that it's useless to eat anything else.
Ok but I've been wanting to go raw for a few YEARS already. It has all made sense to me for a long time but I always fell back to the "addiction" of cooked foods. My weaknesses? Pizza, Nachos with real melted cheese... But everything really, eggs, cereal, bread. I can tell when I'm addicted to these foods when there is really no raw intake at all and when I'm hungry I almost always choose something cooked.
So for starters I'm going to use Spirulina Pacifica as a help to make sure I'm nourished while 1. Cleansing from cooked food and preservative cravings, and 2. Submersing myself more into a wholesome raw food diet. I can honestly say that doing this (taking spirulina) will be giving me way more nutrition than I'm getting now eating 3 random cooked meals a day.
My first and hopefully only strategy is change my mentality 100% now to "I eat only living and nutritious food." And also "my diet is 100% wholesome." I feel if I have these mind sets, every time it is time to eat, I will choose nutritious wholesome food. It's a lot better than choosing to focus on anything upstream.
I do feel that it will be a weining or gradual process but I hope to always do my best. I will turn to my journal for introspection as I go through my transition. I hope my cleansing is easy on all levels. I think on some level I'm still afraid of my highest creative potential and it scares me to go raw and unlock that new level of energy, vitality and wholeness into my experience.
7.23.11
As far as my raw calibration goes.. yesterday was my first whole day of 90% raw. I had a few wheat crackers that weren't raw and some nuts that were roasted, but I feel confident in saying it has been a major improvement, and it was nutritious, and I'm very happy that I made it through a day of a wholesome diet. I think I should stop focusing on the word "raw" right now and focus more on the word "wholesome" for awhile to take some of the pressure off about having strict raw diet rules. The reason why I want to go "raw" is to incorporate wholeness into my experience, so that is what I will focus on more until I effortlessly transition deeper and deeper into the raw food lifestyle.
7.24.11
It is my 3rd day eating living foods. I feel I've become very relaxed and trusting. I've learned to focus more on the now, yeah my mind has been full and racing so I feel like I'm constantly bringing myself back to the now, but the more that I do it, the more relaxed I feel. I feel there's always a 'to do' list running in my head, even if the list is a lot of fun things I'm still learning to live in the now so I can fully enjoy everything I do. All of my experiences. My energy levels and vitality are sky rocketing, and my inner voice, my truth seems to be coming through to me more clearly since I changed my diet, and its my only third day.
Since changing my mindset and my diet, I've been able to listen to my body and actually understand it's messages more clearly than ever and even though it's only been two days I can see that a wholesome living diet is only part of the journey of wholeness. None the less it's an extremely important part of wholeness and I love food, so blogging about my raw journey should be a pleasure.
I guess one of the reasons why I do anything public and evolutionary is to show others that it is possible. We all experience the same battles at one point or another (and collectively) but triumph is inevitable with love.
I am going to start by posting a couple of my journal entries from the this month. As a documentation of my process into raw foods and wholeness. I will be posting once a week from here on out.
July 10th
Love. Thank you for bringing me to higher states of being. I'm begining to love myself on a whole new level. When I am able to look at my body as a temple I begin to love it a lot more because of the realization that it contains God. Words that have been said by many, in many ways, but it's true that to actually understand the concept that our bodies are temples that hold Spirit, one must experience the realization for themselves at their own time.
Self control. Discipline. Or GOLD?
Gratitude, Obideience, loyalty, devotion. Everything in life is easier to me when it's GOLD. Will attracting and eating raw foods be about discipline or GOLD to me? It's so much easier when I know that I am doing it for Source. I love my creator just as much as my creator loves me. Unconditionally, and unending. There fore I must love myself in that way as well.
7.22.11
I want to go raw. In my highest desire 100% raw but it seems psychotic in the society we live in today. Inside, I feel it's the right thing to do for myself. It just makes sense to eat living foods and a part of me even feels that it's useless to eat anything else.
Ok but I've been wanting to go raw for a few YEARS already. It has all made sense to me for a long time but I always fell back to the "addiction" of cooked foods. My weaknesses? Pizza, Nachos with real melted cheese... But everything really, eggs, cereal, bread. I can tell when I'm addicted to these foods when there is really no raw intake at all and when I'm hungry I almost always choose something cooked.
So for starters I'm going to use Spirulina Pacifica as a help to make sure I'm nourished while 1. Cleansing from cooked food and preservative cravings, and 2. Submersing myself more into a wholesome raw food diet. I can honestly say that doing this (taking spirulina) will be giving me way more nutrition than I'm getting now eating 3 random cooked meals a day.
My first and hopefully only strategy is change my mentality 100% now to "I eat only living and nutritious food." And also "my diet is 100% wholesome." I feel if I have these mind sets, every time it is time to eat, I will choose nutritious wholesome food. It's a lot better than choosing to focus on anything upstream.
I do feel that it will be a weining or gradual process but I hope to always do my best. I will turn to my journal for introspection as I go through my transition. I hope my cleansing is easy on all levels. I think on some level I'm still afraid of my highest creative potential and it scares me to go raw and unlock that new level of energy, vitality and wholeness into my experience.
7.23.11
As far as my raw calibration goes.. yesterday was my first whole day of 90% raw. I had a few wheat crackers that weren't raw and some nuts that were roasted, but I feel confident in saying it has been a major improvement, and it was nutritious, and I'm very happy that I made it through a day of a wholesome diet. I think I should stop focusing on the word "raw" right now and focus more on the word "wholesome" for awhile to take some of the pressure off about having strict raw diet rules. The reason why I want to go "raw" is to incorporate wholeness into my experience, so that is what I will focus on more until I effortlessly transition deeper and deeper into the raw food lifestyle.
7.24.11
It is my 3rd day eating living foods. I feel I've become very relaxed and trusting. I've learned to focus more on the now, yeah my mind has been full and racing so I feel like I'm constantly bringing myself back to the now, but the more that I do it, the more relaxed I feel. I feel there's always a 'to do' list running in my head, even if the list is a lot of fun things I'm still learning to live in the now so I can fully enjoy everything I do. All of my experiences. My energy levels and vitality are sky rocketing, and my inner voice, my truth seems to be coming through to me more clearly since I changed my diet, and its my only third day.
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